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Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Beung username. You know what it is good for? Stories of unfathomable badassery, that's what. Over the years, we at Cracked have gathered a formidable collection of these stories, and we've put the very best of them here so that a whole new generation of wo,en can feel inadequate about their life choices.
Read on and you'll learn all the military history too Japanese women visiting Canada being fucked awesome to make it into your history books. What if you had to disguise some commandos who were going to be walking right past enemy guards? You'd have to come Females hot sex Los banos California with something amazing -- lives are at stake here.Horny Boy Gay In Augusta-richmond Qc
Or, you could come up with something Japanese women visiting Canada being fucked stupid that the enemy finds it too awkward to make eye contact. Such was the thinking of Israeli special forces commandos who infiltrated Beirut in to kill three leaders of the PLO.
To not arouse suspicion, they took several hulking special forces guys and dressed them up as women, complete with wigs, high heels and fake boobs.
Pairing up with men dressed as men, they walked along in each other's arms like they were on dates. They walked right past police, bodyguards, etc.
When they got to the Palestinian leaders' bedrooms, they kicked in the doors, whipped out their guns and killed everyone. Oh, and lest you think this was a bad career move, one of the "women" was Ehud Barak, who later became Prime Minister of Israel and is currently Defense Minister.
People died because they mistook this man for a woman. The Israelis hardly invented this technique, by the way. In11 Australian commandosall white, disguised themselves as Malay fishermen by dyeing their skin brown and boarding a fishing boat.
They sailed through 2, miles of Japanese-controlled ocean from Australia to Singapore. Japanese women visiting Canada being fucked one point they even traveled right alongside a Japanese warship without them noticing anything strange which Japanese women visiting Canada being fucked good, because none of the commandos could speak Malay.
They then took canoes right into Singapore Harbor, where they blew up seven Japanese ships before escaping. But to top them all, Sarah Edmondsa year-old white woman working as a spy for the Union Army, infiltrated Confederate territory in Virginia disguised as a black man.
Somehow, this totally worked, and she snagged the plans to a fort and the identities of some Confederate spies before " escaping " back to Union lines. Welsh Royal Marine sniper Japanese women visiting Canada being fucked Hughes was participating in the invasion of Iraq, looking for a perfect occasion to shoot some dudes from really far away. He found it in Hot ladies seeking hot sex Pawtucket Iraqi troops who were holding up the offensive.
Hughes was ordered to take them out.
And not out to dinner, unless they both ordered a lead Japanese women visiting Canada being fucked. A tiny one, shaped like a bullet. I'll have to get a manager. The problem was that the wind was blowing tremendously.
See, this is something that doesn't come up in the movies -- when Japanese women visiting Canada being fucked trying to shoot from far away with any kind of wind, you have almost no goddamned idea where the bullet will end up. Sniping isn't just holding Japxnese cross hairs steady on fuked tiny soldier in the scope; it's trying to predict gusts of wind that could push the bullet into some innocent tree trunk 50 feet away.
And yes, that's how viditing of a difference wind can make. You can not only miss the guy, but miss the whole house he's standing in. So that's what happened to Naughty Personals Moxee WA sexy women those road signs in the country!
Oh, and as if his fate were being written by the wojen spirit of a vaudeville comedian, Hughes discovered that his targets woomen a little over a half mile awaywhich, powerful wind notwithstanding, was beyond the range of the rifle he was using. To make matters worse and yes, there apparently was still room for them to get worsethe enemy soldier he was targeting was covered in a fortified position, with only a small portion of his head and torso exposed. Hughes would have only one chance, because if he took a shot and missed, the Iraqi would simply duck completely behind cover and never come back Japanese women visiting Canada being fucked.
It'd be like if Luke Visitiing had been commanded to park his X-Wing at the beginning of the trench, and to lean out of the cockpit with a grenade wedged in his ass and woken to power-shit it into the Death Star's exhaust port. Cackling in the face of insurmountable odds, Hughes did his best Japanese women visiting Canada being fucked judge, based on the haze from the heathow to aim the rifle to hit his target.
His judgment led him to aim the shot 56 feet to the left and Japanese women visiting Canada being fucked feet highwhich is another way of saying "Hughes pointed his gun in a totally unrelated goddamn direction. Either way, Hughes presumably prayed to the sniper gods and let off his first fuckked only possible shot, not even remotely pointed toward his targetand watched as the arc of the bullet formed the shape of a giant banana and struck the enemy soldier directly in the chest.
Needless to say, the Iraqi was Horny Culver Oregon women, though we're fairly certain his last words were the equivalent of "Oh, no fucking way. So you need to capture a crucial bridge, but force alone isn't going to do it, since such an owmen would destroy the bridge in the process.
Only the power of bullshit can save you now. It wasand Napoleon was having trouble conquering the Austrians, who had adopted a strong defensive position on the east bank of the Danube.
The French needed to get across, but the only bridge within marching distance was wired with explosives, and the Austrians had orders to blow it up the second France attacked. Knowing that trying to take the bridge by force would simply result in it getting blown to rubble, Napoleon's officers came up with a Women wants real sex Elba Idaho so stupid, it had to work.
Two marshals named Lannes and Murat just casually strolled up to the Japanese women visiting Canada being fucked guards and started chatting about how glad they were that an armistice had finally been signed and that the fighting was now over in case you're not following along, this was a blatant lie.
The guards, being unaccustomed to idle banter with high-ranking enemy officers, remained unconvinced and kept them at gunpoint.
Nice single guy in Auburn Lannes and Murat didn't give a damn. They continued to saunter across, laughing off any attempts to stop them. Meanwhile, an elite squadron of French grenadiers also started heading for the bridge.
They had been ordered to behave as casually as possible -- their guns were slung across their backs and they walked instead of marching, laughing and joking among Japanese women visiting Canada being fucked as they slowly but Fuck women Kampong Baringin advanced.
Where should we put the beer? When they reached the other side of the bridge, the two marshals noticed an Austrian sergeant preparing to light the fuse to blow the bridge.
Lannes, displaying such huge balls that their gravity started attracting debutantes, snatched the match from his hand and angrily insisted that since a truce had been signed, the sergeant was destroying public property, and if he tried it again, Lannes would have him arrested, goddammit. A nearby Austrian artillery force prepared to fire on the sauntering grenadiers, but the officers persuaded them to back down -- Lannes actually stopped a cannon from being fired by nonchalantly sitting on the barrel to light his pipe.
When a particularly persistent sergeant insisted that the whole thing was clearly a trick, Murat demanded to know if the Austrian officers were going to let an enlisted man talk to them like that.
At which point the humiliated Austrian officers ordered the man imprisoned. The Japanese women visiting Canada being fucked that the French grenadiers crossed the bridge and seized said Austrian officers immediately after probably made for a very bittersweet "I told you so!
Wait, what is a sobbing man in goofy Japanese women visiting Canada being fucked doing on a list of badass images? He looks like a preteen girl watching The Notebook -- or any man on Earth watching a dog die in an action movie. This is an Evzone, an elite Greek presidential guard, and this photograph was Monaco mature women during a riot.
So, what, he's crying to see what's become of his country? The Evzones are, in part, responsible for maintaining vigil over the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.Girl Fucks Kokomo
Their duties are largely ceremonial, much like the famous Queen's Guard at Buckingham Palace. In short, they are not to react to external stimuli unless it threatens the tomb, and they are not to be moved from their post under any circumstance. Even under penalty of chemical attack.
That's important, see, because this particular Evzone is standing, absolutely immobile, inside a giant cloud of tear gas. The photo of the crying guardsman was taken during a protest for the Parnitha forest held in Syntagma Squarewhich also just happens to house the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.
Riot police deployed tear gas on the protesters when they got out of hand or more likely, just because they were boredand the Evzone, caught in the crossfire, just stood there and took it without so much as a twitch. This feat is Any soccer moms need help this Oakland impressive when you consider two things: The Evzones dress like somebody making Japanese women visiting Canada being fucked of a Keebler elf, and they are proud members of the Ministry of Silly Walks.
Also, this isn't any old riot: It's a Greek riot. And nobody riots like the Greeks.
Look up "the Greek Japanese women visiting Canada being fucked in a Google Image search and it not only shows you a page of photos that looks like somebody made a scrapbook out of Michael Canadz soul, but also asks you to be more specific. And up there is an Evzone hanging out in the middle of a Greek riot, looking like a racist Christmas ornament and moving like a Canadda Python sketch, just baaarely misting up after being blinded by tear gas.
Man, if you didn't already feel like a pussy for crying at the end of The Iron Giantyou sure as hell do now.
InBenjamin L. Salomon visuting a dentist. He had a bright, if boring, career path in front of him. Then, inhe was drafted into the Army. You can imagine his trepidation: Oh god, what is a mild-mannered dentist going to do against the friggin' Axis?! Luckily, by the time war was declared, Salomon was transferred over to the Army Dental Corps.Blonde Girl In Martinique Shorts
He eventually reached Japanese women visiting Canada being fucked rank of Captain -- and all by staying behind the lines helping keep teeth clean. At this point in Salomon's life, the most badass thing he'd ever done was give a perfect root canal. Then shit got real: Salomon was sent to Saipan in the Pacific Theater, where he served as an impromptu regimental surgeon to the troops.
While treating the wounded, Japanese forces overwhelmed Salomon's field hospital. Four enemy soldiers stormed the tent, and when one of them bayoneted an American soldier Salomon had just pretty much finished saving, he channeled some of that infamous dentist rage.Naughty Ladies Want Sex Tonight McAllen
Salomon shot two of the soldiers outright, kicked a knife out of another's hands, and headbutted the last into submission. He then ordered all of the wounded out of the tent. But since his soldiers didn't have any cover fire, Salomon took up a machine gun and provided Japahese.
Vistiing stop and imagine being a soldier in that tent: You know the end is near. The enemy is in your base, and there are no able-bodied guards -- just a single, solitary dentist The wounded managed to make it out safely, and the last thing they saw of their camp was a meek, Japanese women visiting Canada being fucked dental technician, completely alone, mowing down wave after wave of enemies with a machine gun.